While many people truly mean those words, I do, on the day of their wedding, things happen throughout relationships that cause irreparable damage that it cannot come back from. There are too many reasons to list for people to get divorced, but it happens to couples with even the purest of intentions, so don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself going through this difficult situation.
Getting divorced, especially after a lengthy marriage, is a major life change that a lot of people don’t ever prepare for. After all, why would you prepare for something that would never happen? Yet, divorce rates have been high for decades, and people must learn to live alone again. If you are recently divorced, or in anticipation of one, it would be a good time to start keeping a 2023 diary, as a lot is going to change moving forward and recording your thoughts is a great way to manage your emotions.
Let’s take a look at just a few things that you can do to help you navigate the tricky waters of divorce and figure out who you are on your own.
Don’t Rush Anything
Whether you are recently divorced, in the courtroom, or just in the planning stage, there is no good reason to rush any of this. You need to take the time to process everything, ensure all legal obligations are in order, and most of all, learn to be kind to yourself. This is a process that has no concrete path or ending, just a starting point. Finding yourself again can be an overwhelming experience, and you need to take the time to really learn who you are and enjoy the journey.
Many recently divorced people decide to start dating almost immediately after they sign the paperwork. For the small percentage of people that have this workout, power to them, but the odds are stacked against you if you are still carrying all of that baggage. Instead, plan to date yourself for a while, as that is how you are going to learn all about yourself.
Start Small and Comfortable
It is so easy to get overwhelmed with all of the changes and questions after a divorce. Depending on individual circumstances, it can involve everything from finding a new home and sharing custody of children, and that will be difficult. Starting small will allow you to focus on the essentials, but still make time to grow.
A journal is a great way for a lot of people to start, especially if you have never journaled before. It may seem odd or stupid to some, but getting your feelings out on paper can help process the situation. This can also lead to natural brainstorming after a while, helping you figure out what your brain naturally leans towards. Learning about, and loving, yourself is an essential part of this journey.
Dive Into Hobbies and Other Activities
While you are on this adventure to figure out your life, take the time to do some things that you really enjoy. Just about every hobby and activity has the ability to become social when it is the right time. Whether you enjoy cards and board games, sports, trivia, racing little cars, or any other of the millions of things people do for fun, take time each day, week, or month, and delve into your real interests.
Eventually, these hobbies can lead you to various social opportunities, and it doesn’t even have to be face-to-face. You can take your hobby online if you are extremely introverted, as there is a message board, forum, or community out there for everything. The main goal here is to have fun, gain some confidence, and hopefully get to know some new people.
Dating Apps: Yay or Nay?
If you fall into the category of people that were born in the last millennium and have been in a long-term marriage, stop right here. Dating is not what it used to be, or at least it doesn’t appear to be on the surface. The world will have you thinking that all people now use apps such as Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and countless others to match solely based on physical characteristics.
This may be somewhat true, but traditional dating is still out there, even if you do have to meet them in untraditional ways. You can take the old-fashioned route, trying to meet new people in person, or take to the internet. This is an individual choice, and there are pros and cons to using dating apps.
Embrace All The Positives Of A New Beginning
If you have found yourself divorced and wondering what is going to become of your life, there is no need to despair. With some hard work, consistency, and real personal growth, this may just end up being the best period of your life. Just make sure to take your time to stop and smell the roses, as you can’t rush happiness, it is something that has to come over time.
Further reading: Finding the ‘real you’ amid the craziness of being a single mum.
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